The Sometimes Unspoken…..

Words of another single full time working, student & parent

Posts Tagged ‘school

Effects of College on My Mind

leave a comment »

I find my mind twisted these past days.  I am painfully influenced by all of the various reading required in school.  While I can not push my mind past the images that float within it, I still try to dismiss the poetic songs that are left intertwined with my everyday thoughts.

It is like babble floating within the very cells of my brain.  I wonder, often, if this is how one experiences changes.  I know that each piece of knowledge, each piece of reading, every segment of every lecture is somehow being categorized, recorded and stored in the dark recesses of various areas of my brain.  The sad thing, is this is the true actual reality and I fully understand it.  I do not mean that to sound badly.  It is just, that is actually what is happening on a deeply cellular level and this is something I truly do understand.  The curse of being overly curious about the way to increase intelligence brought me to a few books that intentionally described the very process of learning.  It was strangely interesting and completely unforgettable.

Having spent the last few weeks rushing about with the start of the semester, trying to grasp the subject matter, which in some cases is a struggle, I am buckling under the physical call of tiredness.  Each semester seems to be easier on some points and harder on others.  I think I need to stop looking at the long road, that has seven more years of dancing with this college lifestyle and break it down into more agreeable portions.  Still, I can not help but to look down the road.  My goal is taunting me like one teases a dog with a treat.

I have three semesters left to claim the two Associates degrees that I have been working on.  I would have finished with this semester, had I not realized the lack of classes that would transfer to the four year college.  It is a smart decision and I do not feel sorrow for chasing down the Paralegal Studies.  The lawyers that had warned me that it was useless to do at this point, understood the base requirements for getting to the final goal quickly.  Instead, because of work, I chose to chase down the Paralegal side of life.  It does not really gather me much in prestige, nor will the degree grant me much in a way of a promotion.  In fact, the irony is, if they change my title to a paralegal, it is in fact a demotion from what I am currently titled.  Hopefully, that does not happen.

Even still, even if it does add an extra year to get to the law degree, I think that it is worth it.  I have come to realize the subject matter sets a solid foundation for those years to come.  Practically speaking, I will know the law from two sides of the equation.  One of the working class laborer, who assists the lawyers with various tasks as required and one of the lawyer,  brand new and inept at the very practice of law.  Many do not realize baby lawyers actually have little experience in the application of law.  They have plenty of practice in the theory of law.

It is a long road.  My youngest will have graduated from high school before I finish.  My oldest will more than likely graduate with her Associates Degree before I do.  My middle one will be part way through establishing her own independence as she traverses the college scene.  I wonder at the impact that my dance with education will have on them.  Is it a good influence upon them for their mother to entertain this level of education right now?  I am not sure at times.  It takes me out of the home for classes three nights during the week.  That is less attention and observation that I can provide to them.

We have already discovered that too much independence wreaks havoc with my two youngest.  Buckling under the pressure, they redefined the rules of the house to pretty much do whatever pleases themselves.  It was very displeasing to me.  I actually spent the last month getting the house back to a decent sense of stability.  Parent jail if you will call it.  Probably a topic for its very own blog.  Nevertheless, it was a very time consuming and tedious process that I truly wish was not necessary.  My two youngest are thriving again, but miserable that they lost the wondrous freedom they have enjoyed over the past three semesters.  The first two they were reasonable.  For some reason, this last one, they strayed a little too far.  It was not comfortable and has created havoc with their very beings, though they would attempt to convince you differently.

Now that things are back to an orderly way, I can start progressing on the goals I had established for myself.  A month late, but sometimes it is worth it to stop and deal with the items that can grow into insurmountable obstacles before they truly take root.  I am excited, but totally exhausted.

I apologize for the difference in writing style.  I, unfortunately, am easily influenced by the things I have to read in school.  My English Literature class is sending my senses buzzing and dancing in ways it had not, since I was a teenager in high school.  Old dreams are flashing in front of me and I am tempted to grab them as I travel this educational voyage, but I have to weigh the effects of such a choice.  Philosophy is fighting against the practical everyday portion of my being.  I am processing the information, understanding it and amazed, but kicking and screaming every step of the way.  Sociology is painful, almost like a salt filled wound.  My mind eases when I am privileged to read and go to the Probate Law and Litigation classes.  They appeal to my senses, are practical, useful and real.

All of it together gets mixed and I can not help but be influenced.  This semester ends in May, so just hang in there with me.  The poetic and dramatic styling that seems to have awakened is actually the way I used to write years ago, before life beat me with experience and time was used as a throttle.  I have no idea if it will stay or if I will bounce between the two.  Maybe they will merge and become something completely unique.  This, in and of itself, is a curious adventure.  At any rate, I am back and I hoped you missed me.


Written by neomav

February 4, 2012 at 12:52 am


leave a comment »

I have officially entered the homestretch.  I have homework left in one class and the rest its all studying for exams.  Exams start on Tuesday.  Fair warning….I can’t tell you how active I will or will not be.  I tend to be unpredictable at best.  Sometimes I just lock myself away and other times I am too stressed to concentrate and seem like I am all over the place.

At any rate, its the last leg to keep the 4.0 roll, maintain being on the Dean’s list and to apply for the Community College version of the Honor Roll Society.  LOL!  I feel like such a kid.

So off I go to study, to be distracted, to work, to play and just get things done in random sorts of ways.  Wish me luck!  Tell me to study when you see me jumping around.  I need all sorts of reminders.

Written by neomav

May 5, 2011 at 8:26 pm

Posted in Work

Tagged with , ,

Flu Knock Down

leave a comment »

This week I encountered a serious battle with the flu.  Not sure where the bug came from, but it did find me and grab hold.

Tuesday night at school I was really feeling out of sorts.  I passed it off on low blood sugar, which I do deal with from time to time.  Wednesday at work, I was feeling it.    My body ached, it screamed uncomfortable and yet it was bearable.

Come in Thursday morning and it felt like I had just finished an in person battle with some deep dark nemesis that I could not see.  Today, I am a little better, but extremely aware of every joint in my body.

So……I had a choice.  Go to work and attempt to tough it out or stay home and rest it out.  I actually had to think about this, but not too deeply.  I find when I am sick, holding onto an idea for any length of time is difficult.

If I went to work everyone would have to suffer a cranky attitude that would increase as the day went on, but I would be able to get everything I had planned to do done.  I just want to get things done, off my plate and resolved.  Now its sitting there calling to me, a faint sound that periodically wakes me up from resting.

If I stay home, I get the rest my body needs, but stress about things that need to be done.

I chose to stay home for one reason…not to rest, not to recuperate, but because I was in the bathroom more then I was anywhere else.  Because standing up sent my head into a throbbing fit and outside of the covers put a chill inside of me that caused my body to shake in fits.  I stayed home because my body protested angrily.  This time, my body successfully vetoed my mind.

The recommendations in the meantime….

  • Get plenty of sleep.  Sleep is where our bodies actually do the bulk of the repair of itself.  Find yourself sleepy…your body is telling you a very serious message.
  • Drink plenty of clear fluids.  Dark soda’s are not going to work here and sugar drinks can create issues.  Water is great, however you will need more then that.  Try some tea or ginger ale.  Sip slowly and avoid cold or overly hot drinks.
  • Use the BRAT diet.  Banana, rice, applesauce and toast.  Start simple and don’t try to push large portions.  A bite here and there work best.
  • Brush your teeth.  Silly I know, but when people don’t feel well, they don’t do this.  Your mouth is home to over 600 different types of bacteria.  Vomiting will bring bacteria from the internal portions of your body (stomach for example) up into your mouth, where they can potentially take up residence.  Ewwwww.  Brush those teeth and rest well.
  • Worry about work, school, housework and other things after a couple of days of rest.  Trust me, you will be more productive after the rest, then avoiding the rest.

Well, its time for me to lay down and rest more.  My body is crying, the bathroom is calling and my stomach is protesting.  Until the next time…  ❤

Written by neomav

March 4, 2011 at 1:35 pm

Posted in Illnesses

Tagged with , , , , ,

Enter Sore

leave a comment »

Today I did poor on the water drinking.  😦  Not sure what to do to encourage myself here.  It seems to be pitch and go, but this is a critical area. Water is extremely important, especially with some of the changes I am trying to work on.

I walked again during lunch with Mr. Brady for about 20 minutes then after work around the block with the girls and the dog.  My shins, calves and tops of my feet are sore sore sore.  Tomorrow is going to be one of those push through days because each step will be the pain.  Wish me luck.

My teen told me I needed to settle it down a bit.  LOL!  My reply – uh noooo!  I plan on starting the running back up in a few weeks.  The walking is my preparation to get to that point.  Running will help me shed the weight that I don’t want on me that has jumped on me since I hit the “mid-age” sector of life.  It’s got to go.

I did wake up to the alarm this morning, thought I shut it off and must have hit snooze instead because it came back for a second round.  O.o  LOL!  I made sure it was off then.  I tried to doze, but it wasn’t working for me so ended up getting up at that 1/2 hour mark.   Why am I so stubborn in this area?  O.O

School will be starting back soon, so I am making a jump on it and started some of the reading of the Commercial Law.  My favorite part of the reading tonight was “Contracts gone wrong.” LOL!  I am thinking in my head – dullest sitcom ever?  Maybe not.  People do strange things in contractual situations.  It might actually be a few ha has and a few grrrz.  After all, it would be emotionally charged and much like a newscaster’s dramafest getting a rise out of the community.  (Yes, I know sometimes its necessary.)

I need to brush up on the Spanish as well.  At least these are two areas I do have some control in so far.  The pre work won’t gain me time, but it will sure as heck reduce stress in a 17 credit hour class load.  Yep, that is right 17 happy credit hours with a 40 to 50 hour work week and the single mommy gig.  I used to think I was wonder woman, but I figured out that I actually am nothing shy of insane.  O.o  I must like stress.  LOL!

Written by neomav

January 6, 2011 at 3:21 am

Posted in Habit Training

Tagged with , ,

%d bloggers like this: