The Sometimes Unspoken…..

Words of another single full time working, student & parent

Posts Tagged ‘comfort zone

Back To The Basics ~ Step 1: The Calendar

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Every time I stray from using the calendar, I begin to fall backwards, redeveloping the bad habits that I had spent considerable time trying to get away from.  I find that being someone that is incredibly busy, the calendar is a way to keep myself accountable to a large variety of things.  Me on my own, truly is like a seed blowing in the wind.  No telling where I will turn up.

The calendar is more than a listing of tentative or required dates and times of planned events.  I block off my time for specific activities that may seem mundane to most people.  However, if I do not, those things simply do get ignored.  I am lost without the calendar.  It is like navigating the sea in darkness with no sign, no star and no land sightings.  Almost impossible.  You will get somewhere, but the chances are that it will be some place that you really did not want to visit.

At any rate, my last post I had stated that I am getting back to the basics.  I have felt a little out of it and strongly lacking my normal sense of focus.  There are many changes to be done and rather then make a long listing of them, overwhelming myself and engaging my perfectionist tendencies – its a small bite at a time.  The best place to start is establishing a good foundation or redirecting the driver (if you are a mobile run around type).

I use my calendar to assist me in keeping my foundation healthy, strong and well maintained.  It tells me what direction to drive in, how fast to go, when and where.  My mind is then free to mull over things that can have a greater impact on life then worrying about forgetting something or beating myself up because I did forget something.

Many of you are aware that I revisit my goals about four times a year.  Honestly, I have not done that very much this year and its August.  We are long overdue.  Goals are important, as the projects and tasks that I establish on my calendar are typically based out of these.  Each day is an opportunity to work toward those goals.   Chipping at them a little at a time makes a huge difference and allows many things to get done.  I know it is not as fast as just diving in and it does make me a bit slower than many people that I know.  Yet, I still manage to experience large pay offs.  The Dean’s List in school doesn’t happen on accident, you know.  😀

I will also be gathering together a listing of all living expenses, bills and financial items.  All bills get listed on the calendar about 10 days prior to their due date for payment.  While at this, I will create a draft of the family budget for further work as the year goes on.  Budgeting is not a once a year item either.  It usually follows the same time line as the goals.  Goals do have a major impact on the budget.

Next will be an update of the family house rules.  We are still operating in a elementary/middle school mix.  We need to be functioning in a high school/middle school mix.  This will create adjustments for the girls and a bit of growing pains that will need to be managed.  They will be utilizing their calendars as a result.

Out of the house rules will come the set of chores for each room in the house and all of the outside areas that need to be maintained.  This will become a teachable moment as well.  The girls have no clue all of what is required in owning a home, maintaining a household and being responsible for a family.  Kat is starting her second year of high school.  That means time is growing short and she has so much to learn in the next three years before she starts to spring out into the world on her own.  Boo is just starting seventh grade.  She has a bit more time to get these lessons under her belt.  It is time that Kat moves onto a newer set of chores that can equip her to be able to live on her own responsibly.  Its time for Boo to step up and become a very active participant in the household.

School is about to start for all three of us.  In fact, it begins on Monday.  I will need to add all the scheduled school closing dates to my calendar, as well as any events that we already know about.  Kat’s cross country schedule needs to be merged into mine and the family calendar (which I need to pick up).  Boo will probably have some additions this year as well.  She plays the flute in band and also does the chorus in school.  She was considering adding another activity to her schedule.  Mom also has quite a bit scheduled for the fall.  That needs to be incorporated as well.  We also have to chase down my sister and grab her schedule too.

At least it is good timing to get things in order.  These items will be done this week.  Check back for updates, as I am sure I will write as I struggle, frustrate myself and finish each task.

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Render Me Useless

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Sometimes I have these days or moments where I feel like I am just useless.  I wonder what I am doing and why I am doing it.  It is like choosing to fight a war that you know the odds are simply against you.  No one is betting you will win.  The underdog stance.

I do this when I feel very tired, burnt out or stressed about things.  I know it sounds depressing, but I truly do not view it that way.  It is an awesome way my body has for communicating to me that things are not in order.  Something is out of place.  It goes straight to my personal self esteem and attacks it.

See, I understand that I am not useless.  I also know that it is okay to feel that way at times.  It has a meaning.  It is not okay if this is the feeling one walks around with all day for days on end.  Moments of lacking confidence are important to us and necessary.  Not that I am defending, but just that I realize if I do not have moments like this, it is easy to loose touch with life.  Being overly confident is not exactly the best thing for us either.  Many think so, but I disagree.  The middle road is best.  We need moments that cause us to question ourselves and make us ask why something is the way it is.  They are growing times, if we let them to be.

So the big question is why this feeling?  It is simple really.  I am doing things that are way out of my comfort zone.

The social media game I love to play is intense and filled with people that do it as a profession.  They are great at it.  Its filled with people that have lots of time for online activities and thus they are rewarded for it.  Most of them are professionals in one way or another.  There are a few people like myself that are the odd balls out.  I refuse to quit though.  Even when it gets difficult.  The reality is, it is good for me.  The people I have meet and connected with have a different mindset than many of those normally around me.  My interests and hobbies are their professions.  They cheer me on even when my goals are not the same.  Compared to them, I am very socially inept.  My biggest lesson is how inconsistent I can be.

School is constantly pushing me to do that much more than I thought I could do.  It is expanding my mind, changing the way I think and the way I view things.  When the light is revealed even the details are suddenly exposed.  I have one year under my belt and it is still a huge challenge.  It is far more than study habits and good grades.  Again, I am out of my comfort zone.

At work I am constantly involved with things that I feel are outside of my skill range.  I am stretched, busy and sometimes lost.  I go back and forth feeling great and wondering if today is the day I get the notice.  I am not doing a bad job at all, but much of what I think actually ties into what I expect me to be able to do.  I have a little bit of a perfectionist tendency.

At home I sometimes want to just quit and say I can’t do this.  Life can be relentless, never giving a moment to just chill out.  I am out of my elements here as well as I continue to do work  on the house, learn new things (mostly the hard way) and face the challenges that life brings to us.

On all fronts I seem to be facing challenges and things that force me to stretch more, learn more and do more.  I am way outside of my comfort zone.  No complaints here, just an observation.  I am actually excited to see what is in store for us.  I know there are huge blessings rushing at me, surrounding me and covering me.  The adventures continue and I am thrilled!

Written by neomav

August 18, 2011 at 10:12 pm

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