The Sometimes Unspoken…..

Words of another single full time working, student & parent

Archive for the ‘New Year Resolutions’ Category

And So It Starts

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The first morning of the new year has rolled in, expected and ready to provide adventures. Today is a new day, just like everyday we wake up to see, but today is one of 12 firsts during the year and it’s the first of the firsts.

All over people are holding a bit of inspiration to make changes to a something or a series of somethings in their lives. They will start with all the determination and motivation they can muster. Within a month, they fall back to their old patterns, simply because they fully believe they can make these changes on their own power. While it is true that you are not going to change unless you are ready, it is also true that you are not going to do it alone. See something substantial in your life has to change. There has to be a reason that means more to you than you do that drives you. For some it is the fear of death. For others the fear of God. Still there are even some that respond to the unexplainable compassion they find within someone that gives them the last opportunity when everyone else has long given up. Or it may be as simple as another person giving one permission to choose to be different. That may sound silly, but in some cases it is the hold up.

I am not an expert at anything really. Maybe an expert at making poor choices and learning to live with and do something with them. It has been a hard and difficult life. My adult life is thousands times better than those years of my teens. While I appreciate the people in my life from my past sometimes it can be a struggle, because they are reminders of those things that happened that we’re not right. The silent abuse that my sister and I were enduring at my fathers hand constantly pops into those memories. Yet it is a few of my friends from that time period that have kept me accountable to the goals that I have set for myself. They believe that I can do what my heart desires.

This past year has brought me in touch with a decent size group of friends from my childhood that are cheering me on with my education. They do not care what the obstacles are in front of me, the demons I contend with as I walk the journey or how impossible it seems to be. They simply believe that I can achieve.

My church family will pray for me, that if it’s God’s will, then those doors are open and I will accomplish the task at hand. They do not worry about my personal abilities. In fact, they do not care if I can or can not. They know that if God desires it and I am willing, it will be so. No science degree needed.

Thus I am reminded as we start the first day of this new year, that on my own, alone, I can accomplish very little. Each person praying and each person believing is walking with me. Every friend that tells me to get back to studying, that gives me something to push for and that has given me permission is holding my hand. God is holding all of our hands together.

I can not say where everything will end up or what the outcome will be. I know the journey itself is as much importance as the end of the journey. All this to simply say, realize today that you are not going to do it alone. Your motivation has to be bigger than yourself and more important than you. Even simple changes have large effects at their end. A one degree change may not seem like much at the beginning, but keep walking down the road and you soon find yourself miles away from where you were, not even on the same road you used to walk.

Different roads have different rules. The old you no longer applies, the old thinking has to fade away, otherwise you stop walking and end up running back to where you started from. Those around you help to keep you focused, help to keep you on the right path and constantly uplifted. Even if you seemingly stand alone each day, anything with God’s hand in it guarantees you that you are not alone. Regardless if there is a person placed there or God alone, you are not doing it by yourself, on your own strength or determination.

And so it starts, the new day. The light has draped the lands, exposing a new Sunday. How appropriate that it is the start of a new week, the start of a new year and a new month all in one. I hope this year is the year of accomplishments, that the impossible becomes possible and everyone is filled with awe and excitement each step of the way. I look forward to the day. Off I go to take a shower, wake the girls and get ready for the first church day of the year. There are treasures waiting for me today and I intend to collect them all. I am going to be greedy and will take every blessing that God allows me to have and to take those that were given to my family long ago. No stone will be left untouched. I am greedy for those treasure for they hold what I need most to walk the journey, accomplish the things required and desired. Today is an awesome adventure and I am blessed that my family and friend are with me. Let’s do it!

Posturing

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I was driving home from my Mom’s house tonight, my body tired and my mental state excited. As I was driving home, I had developed a pain in the back of my neck. It really hurt! My mind was wandering from one topic to another while trying to figure out where and why I had developed this pain. All I knew was that it had to stop.

I had taken one of the corners and passed a gas station. I sat up nice and straight. I am not sure why I chose to sit up straight. There was nothing in particular to see or do. At that moment I was a bit shocked. My neck was hurting because my posture was terrible. I let my body curl over itself. I had to lift my head up high to see. Driving in that position was not doing me favors. The worst of it was that I had not realized I had this incredibly bad posturing until I had actually sat up straight.

Now some may call me silly, but it did get me thinking about how many other areas in life that my posturing may be off. The poor posturing did not make me drive slower or faster. It had no affect on my driving, but it certainly was having a painful affect on me. Eventually, I am sure it would have created issues with my driving.

How many places in my life do I do this? This is something I really have to examine. Do I do it only when I am tired or when I am feeling lazy? Posture is important. How one stands, holds themselves and presents themselves is, in fact, a presentation to the world as well as yourself. No one else gets a cramp if I position myself incorrectly. Just me. If my posturing improved, can it be that my self confidence will also?

Written by neomav

December 30, 2011 at 9:43 pm

Back To The Basics ~ Step 1: The Calendar

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Every time I stray from using the calendar, I begin to fall backwards, redeveloping the bad habits that I had spent considerable time trying to get away from.  I find that being someone that is incredibly busy, the calendar is a way to keep myself accountable to a large variety of things.  Me on my own, truly is like a seed blowing in the wind.  No telling where I will turn up.

The calendar is more than a listing of tentative or required dates and times of planned events.  I block off my time for specific activities that may seem mundane to most people.  However, if I do not, those things simply do get ignored.  I am lost without the calendar.  It is like navigating the sea in darkness with no sign, no star and no land sightings.  Almost impossible.  You will get somewhere, but the chances are that it will be some place that you really did not want to visit.

At any rate, my last post I had stated that I am getting back to the basics.  I have felt a little out of it and strongly lacking my normal sense of focus.  There are many changes to be done and rather then make a long listing of them, overwhelming myself and engaging my perfectionist tendencies – its a small bite at a time.  The best place to start is establishing a good foundation or redirecting the driver (if you are a mobile run around type).

I use my calendar to assist me in keeping my foundation healthy, strong and well maintained.  It tells me what direction to drive in, how fast to go, when and where.  My mind is then free to mull over things that can have a greater impact on life then worrying about forgetting something or beating myself up because I did forget something.

Many of you are aware that I revisit my goals about four times a year.  Honestly, I have not done that very much this year and its August.  We are long overdue.  Goals are important, as the projects and tasks that I establish on my calendar are typically based out of these.  Each day is an opportunity to work toward those goals.   Chipping at them a little at a time makes a huge difference and allows many things to get done.  I know it is not as fast as just diving in and it does make me a bit slower than many people that I know.  Yet, I still manage to experience large pay offs.  The Dean’s List in school doesn’t happen on accident, you know.  😀

I will also be gathering together a listing of all living expenses, bills and financial items.  All bills get listed on the calendar about 10 days prior to their due date for payment.  While at this, I will create a draft of the family budget for further work as the year goes on.  Budgeting is not a once a year item either.  It usually follows the same time line as the goals.  Goals do have a major impact on the budget.

Next will be an update of the family house rules.  We are still operating in a elementary/middle school mix.  We need to be functioning in a high school/middle school mix.  This will create adjustments for the girls and a bit of growing pains that will need to be managed.  They will be utilizing their calendars as a result.

Out of the house rules will come the set of chores for each room in the house and all of the outside areas that need to be maintained.  This will become a teachable moment as well.  The girls have no clue all of what is required in owning a home, maintaining a household and being responsible for a family.  Kat is starting her second year of high school.  That means time is growing short and she has so much to learn in the next three years before she starts to spring out into the world on her own.  Boo is just starting seventh grade.  She has a bit more time to get these lessons under her belt.  It is time that Kat moves onto a newer set of chores that can equip her to be able to live on her own responsibly.  Its time for Boo to step up and become a very active participant in the household.

School is about to start for all three of us.  In fact, it begins on Monday.  I will need to add all the scheduled school closing dates to my calendar, as well as any events that we already know about.  Kat’s cross country schedule needs to be merged into mine and the family calendar (which I need to pick up).  Boo will probably have some additions this year as well.  She plays the flute in band and also does the chorus in school.  She was considering adding another activity to her schedule.  Mom also has quite a bit scheduled for the fall.  That needs to be incorporated as well.  We also have to chase down my sister and grab her schedule too.

At least it is good timing to get things in order.  These items will be done this week.  Check back for updates, as I am sure I will write as I struggle, frustrate myself and finish each task.

Flubbed Day

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Today started – well, late.  LOL!

My alarm clock went off this morning, about an hour earlier then I normally get up.  Do you know, I actually turned that thing off and went back to sleep!?!  O.O

I normally do not use an alarm clock.  Risky, I know, however, I just get up at the same time every day.  I do not know if that is from my army days or what the story is.  This presents a problem when one wants to change the time they normally get up.

I had plans.  I wanted to take a bit of a walk before work.  As it stood today, my teen decided to wake up late and miss the school bus as well. I had to drive her to school, which took away my normal get ready for work routine.  Let’s just say I looked a disaster.

So, tonight I snuck the walk in.  I won’t be able to do that when school starts in a couple of weeks.  I will be running from work to school in a mad dash.  It has to be in the morning.  Nevertheless, I was not all “fail”.  I still managed to get that walk in the schedule.

Drinking water was difficult.  Someone brought me a Sprite.  Derr!  And of course I took it!  I nurse drinks like that, so my fluid intake was nil.  Maybe a water bottle that I can take with me as I drive to work would help.  Or slugging a glass of water down before I leave the house!?

Tomorrow is another try.  I know I will be more successful.

For now I am going to sit here and watch my teen organize herself as she looks for the assignment she was suppose to turn in today, but some how forgot about it because the winter vacation was too distracting.  O.o  We have had the talk.  She owns a planner, but chose not to utilize it.  Ah, the pain of disorganization that I know so well has reared its head in another generation.  The panic, the fear, the flippy upside down tummy.  I know it all too well.  The best is the wonder – what was that assignment really?  I think it was this, but it could have been…….

Lesson observed.  Not to do in college class.  Got it.  And she thinks I just teach her.  LOL!  (Mommy evil smirks).

Written by neomav

January 4, 2011 at 12:52 am

Happy New Year ~ O.o

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I had high hopes and plans for how I wanted to ring in the new year, but as always, my little family has other ideas for me.  I think my body just slumped a bit because its having a temper tantrum.  It has discovered it can not blink its eyes and magically everything that needs to get done is done.  LOL!

Any way, I decided to start this blog for my real life side to keep me from placing real life into my virtual side.  I have a blog for my virtual character and do have a tendency to rant unexpectedly about my real life there.  So my goal is to separate the two worlds a bit with this blog.

That being said, I need incentive to actually blog when I do not have something to rant about, so I am going to join the Post A Week challenge issued by wordpress.  This should give me a boost and a bit of encouragement.  We will see.

Now for the famous new year goals…..

1.  Keep the virtual and real lives a bit more separated when it comes to blogging.

2.  Blog once a week.

3.  Exercise once a day.

4.  Drink enough water.

5.  Get out from under the medical bill debt from the elbow I broke last year and had surgery on.

6.  Pass all my classes in school with nothing less then a B.

7.  Get myself organized and together at work to handle a larger work flow.

And there we have it….see you next week if not sooner.  :p

Written by neomav

January 2, 2011 at 4:23 pm

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